When the Holidays Feel Heavy: A Letter on Finding Light

Can I be honest with you for a moment?

Every December, I sit with clients who are struggling. Not because anything is dramatically wrong, but because this season has a way of amplifying everything we carry. The grief feels heavier. The loneliness cuts deeper. The pressure to be joyful when you're barely holding it together can feel suffocating.

If that's where you are right now, I want you to know something: you're not broken, and you're not alone.

The Four Pillars When You're Just Trying to Get Through

I talk about the four pillars of wellness a lot in my work: creativity, belonging, nature, and spirituality. But I've learned that when someone is really struggling, telling them to "practice self-care" can feel like one more thing they're failing at.

So let me reframe these pillars for the hard days. Not as things you should do, but as gentle invitations back to yourself.

Creativity: Permission to Feel

Creativity during tough times doesn't mean painting a masterpiece. It means finding ways to express what's inside you. Write angry words in a journal no one will ever read. Rip up paper. Knead bread dough with all the frustration you're carrying. Cry in the shower where the water drowns out the sound.

Sometimes creativity is just allowing yourself to feel without apologizing for it.

Belonging: The People Who Get It

You don't need a crowd right now. You need one or two people who let you show up exactly as you are. The friend who doesn't say "just think positive" when you're hurting. The family member who sits with you in silence. The support group where everyone understands without explanation.

If you can't find that person in your immediate circle, know that my therapy room has held countless people in this exact space. You're welcome here, mess and all.

Nature: A Breath of Something Different

When everything inside feels chaotic, nature offers something steady. The sun still rises. Trees still stand. Birds still sing, even in winter.

You don't have to hike a mountain. Step outside for sixty seconds. Feel the cold air on your face. Notice one living thing. That's enough. Sometimes just remembering that the world is bigger than our pain provides a sliver of relief.

Spirituality: Making Meaning of the Hard Parts

I've walked alongside people through divorce, loss, trauma, and profound disappointment. What I've witnessed is that spirituality (however you define it) isn't about having all the answers. It's about finding meaning even when things don't make sense.

Maybe it's trusting that this season will pass. Maybe it's believing you're stronger than you knew. Maybe it's simply lighting a candle and acknowledging that you survived another day.

A Personal Note

Twenty years into this work, I still marvel at human resilience. I've seen people navigate unimaginable loss and somehow find their way back to joy. Not because they were exceptionally strong, but because they gave themselves permission to heal at their own pace.

If you're reading this and recognizing yourself, please hear me: it's okay to not be okay right now. It's okay to skip the party. It's okay to set boundaries. It's okay to ask for help.

The holidays will end. January will come. And when you're ready, we can work together on building the life you want, one small step at a time.

Until then, be gentle with yourself. You're doing better than you think.

You Don't Have to Do This Alone

If you're struggling more than usual this season, that's what we're here for. Therapy isn't about fixing you (you're not broken). It's about having a space where you can be honest, work through what hurts, and rediscover your own strength.

Our doors are open. You don't have to wait until you're in crisis to reach out.