You Don't Have to Sparkle Through the Pain: Real Talk About the Holidays

Let me tell you something we wish more people understood: the holidays aren't magical for everyone.

While social media fills with twinkling lights and perfect family moments, some of you are struggling just to get out of bed. You're grieving someone who won't be at the table this year. You're fighting anxiety that ramps up with every invitation. You're battling depression that makes even wrapping a single gift feel impossible.

And then someone tells you it's "the most wonderful time of the year," and you want to scream.

We see you. And we want you to know that whatever you're feeling right now is valid.

When Grief Crashes the Party

Grief during the holidays is particularly cruel. Every tradition becomes a reminder of who's missing. Every empty chair screams their absence. Whether you lost someone recently or years ago, December has a way of ripping open wounds you thought had healed.

Here's what we tell our clients: you don't have to pretend to be festive. You can light a candle for the person you've lost. You can skip events that feel too painful. You can cry in the middle of a holiday movie. You can create new traditions or honor old ones differently.

Grief isn't something you get over. It's something you learn to carry. And during the holidays, it's okay to ask for help carrying it.

Anxiety Doesn't Take a Holiday Break

If anything, anxiety loves December. The packed schedule, the financial pressure, the family dynamics, the expectation to be "on" for everyone. Your nervous system is working overtime, and that tightness in your chest isn't going away on its own.

Maybe you're avoiding holiday gatherings because social anxiety makes them unbearable. Maybe you're lying awake at 3 a.m. worried about money or disappointing people. Maybe you're having panic attacks in parking lots before walking into parties.

You're not weak. You're overwhelmed. And there are real, practical tools that can help you navigate this season without white-knuckling through every moment.

Depression Doesn't Care About Festive Cheer

Depression during the holidays comes with an extra layer of shame. Everyone else seems happy, so what's wrong with you? Why can't you just enjoy this? Why does everything feel so heavy?

Getting out of bed is hard. Showering is hard. Responding to texts is hard. And the thought of buying gifts, cooking meals, and showing up for celebrations? Forget it.

But here's the truth: depression lies. It tells you you're a burden, that no one really wants you there, that things will never get better. None of that is true.

You matter. Your presence matters. And you deserve support, not judgment.

There Is Help, and It's Okay to Need It

Our practice exists for moments like these. We work with people navigating grief, anxiety, and depression every single day. We use approaches like Internal Family Systems, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Mindfulness-Based techniques to help you find relief and build resilience.

Therapy during the holidays might look like:

• Learning grounding techniques for anxiety attacks

• Processing grief in a safe space where you don't have to "stay positive"

• Creating a realistic plan for surviving (not thriving, just surviving) family gatherings

• Developing coping strategies for depressive episodes

• Setting boundaries without guilt

You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need to take the first step.

This Season Won't Last Forever

December will end. The pressure will ease. And you will get through this, especially if you don't try to do it alone.

If you're struggling, please reach out. We have appointments available, and we're here to help you navigate this season with compassion, not judgment.

You don't have to sparkle through the pain. You just have to keep going. Let us help you do that.